MY SECRET DRUG

Too many times, I have found myself being kind to people I did not want to be kind to—people who excelled in earning my ire.  I found myself displaying kindness and understanding in situations I did not want to be kind and understanding about.

The asshole should not have been treated kindly.  Was my kindness an acceptance of the futility of trying to correct someone else’s behavior?   Maybe, but I realized there was more.  A quick list of unwanted kind behavior exposed a pattern.

When I should have been asking, “Why the fuck are you talking to me?” instead of answering, “I’m fine thanks.  How are you?” and making polite conversation; when I returned a high-five instead of turning away;  or when I chose to ignore a comment, rather than land a right hook; I had just finished a high-intensity work-out.  There lies the secret: endorphins!  Endorphins, we all know, are our very own, personally manufactured, natural narcotic.  Endorphins make us happy, they numb us to pain, and apparently they cause us to be kind.   

Being kind is uncontrollable when I am high on endorphins.  My physiology is peace.  In the moment endorphins are surging through my body, I simply do not give a shit about how I had been wronged or what a jackass the person in front of me is.  Rather, I am all Buddha-like with compassion for all sentient beings.  One Love is ringing in my ears, and is all I know.

How do you practice kindness when you seriously dislike your in-laws, but are headed over to their house for a family dinner?  Easy answer now that we know the secret.  Do sprints immediately before heading over.  You do not want to be kind to the lying sack of shit?  No problem.  Completely avoid him or her immediately after your endorphin fix.

Be warned, though, some acts of kindness under the influence of your post-work-out high will sometimes result in delayed disbelief and annoyance.  Our mind creates uproar because it was left out.  “Why didn’t I say this or that instead?  What the hell was I thinking?”  Kindness does not come from thinking.  Kindness comes from feeling.  So go have a fun, intense work-out.  Run, climb, bike, swim, surf, fight, jump, pull, push until your heart feels like it will pound out of your chest, or until you puke, and practice kindness.