THE RIGHT PERSON

When someone surprisingly gave me a glimpse into “the other side of the story” about a friend of mine, I listened very carefully.  Initially, I was shocked.  How did this kind, enthusiastic person act so cold and careless?  How could this great guy have been such a crappy husband?  We are who we are, but who we are with does impact how we behave.  When a person is happy, she/he is free to be involved and intimate.  When a person is unhappy, she/he might be more detached and distant.  Cheating and beating aside, a person is not necessarily a bad person because she/he was not a good match for another person. 

The same friend, who was not going to win a husband-of-the-year award in his first marriage, has been pretty impressive in his second marriage.  Sure, he has matured and changed; but he has also found a woman who is a much better partner for him, allowing him to thrive in the second relationship. 

Whether it has been nine months or 19 years, when you realize you are with someone you are not best suited to be with, what do you do?  Can you stay content in the plush and secure, but unimpassioned life you have?  Will resentment set in for you, or the other person?  Do you reluctantly stay because of the family?  What are you teaching your child?  Is happiness worth the journey away from comfort?  What makes you happy?