JUST FRIENDS?
Can a woman and a man just be friends? I am talking about a true friendship with
confidence that neither person wants to get into the other person’s pants. It is indeed possible. I have close male friends—men I can trust to
be my friends. They are men with depth
and character, who do not view all women as sexual objects.
I was discussing the subject with one of my cherished male
friends over a spicy Mexican lunch. I
savored the flavors of the Spanish rice, as the small salty grains extinguished
the jalapeno-induced fire on my tongue, while my friend tried to help me better
understand the typical male thought process.
I had expressed my annoyance with men who misinterpret a woman’s
friendliness as romantic or sexual interest, when it is absolutely nothing
other than friendliness; and with men who are seemingly nice guys, but not
interested in just being friends.
My friend explained sometimes men are simply on
missions. Whether the mission is finding
a wife, a girlfriend or just getting laid, man tends to focus on his mission
only. “So an otherwise nice guy cannot
just be friends with a woman who is not interested in him because he is on a
mission to get laid?” Correct. Apparently, a man on a mission is, well, on a
mission. It would be nice if these men
had a sign on their forehead indicating their mission, similar to the sign on the
front of a bus showing its destination.
Or perhaps like a parking lot sign; but instead of, “Lot Full” their
sign could read, “Friendships Full, Space Only for Girlfriend.”
What is the solution for women? Do not be friendly to any men you are not
interested in? First of all, being
generally unfriendly to men would be sexist and amount to acting just like the
above mentioned narrow-minded men on their missions. Secondly, if I had not been open to becoming
friends with another human, regardless of gender, I would never have met some
great friends. The friendships I do have
with male friends are worth having to deal with the annoying, and occasionally amusing,
men on their missions.